Behind the brown eyes
by sadsadtree
Summary: It's a Sara central story. Why she left Grissom behind and went back to LV? After the long 13 years being a CSI, being in love with a man, is our Sara still the same? Where is GSR heading to?... Some AU in the late chapters.


**"For get me not" never happened that way.**

**This is my version of Sara's story of the long bitter GSR.**

**So, let's get the story start at the beginning of S13E15.**

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Chapter 1

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**-8:00 p.m-**

**-In the restaurant-**

Blinking her dry eyes, Sara wondered how long she'd been observing the entire restaurant since got here.

There was no specific reason. She just couldn't help but feel people's tiny worlds which she'd always felt distant and mystical were now kinda getting crystal clear.

She let out a small smiled as the young blondie who sitting 5 yards away started to torture her death quiet cellphone under the table. Obviously, she was so desperately dying for a call to get her out of this embarrassing, annoying blind date.

Behind her, she could tell that the old bald guy must be some divorced-to-be waiting for his honey bee, who could possibly be way much younger than him, 'cause the ring had been easily taken off and hidden in his pocket, though the mark was still on his finger. And the saddest part was, from time to time, as old as he was, he even stole glaces at those eye wrinkles and graying hair in his mirrored cellphone screen. Sara wondered whether it was one of the worst pain of someone's life to realize how little your youth had left to math the incoming dynamics, hopes and desires...

And, what she couldn't help but stare at for long was the happy birthday party over there. It reminded her the second birthday she had since she came to Vagas. The whole team had a really great time that night...and it was the first time he drove her home.

...

Yes, the world never changed, she knew, which exactly both calmed and terrified her to learn a truth:

It could only be her very self who had really changed, been changed...during these 13 years.

Changed by time, life,

...by him.

_Grissom.._.

She closed eyes as this name popped, bringing back frustrations and a familiar sting.

_..._

_"..., by the way, happy birthday, Sara."_

_"Oh, you still remember."_

_"Next Friday. How can I forget?"_

_"So...you're gonna be with me that day?"_

_"I...would love to."_

_"Great. How about...' Le Cirque'?"_

_"Old place, old time?"_

_"Old place, old time."_

_"You still go there pretty often?"_

_"No. Not without you."_

_"Is there still the same?"_

_"Yeah, I believe so."_

_"Restaurants...come and go, in Vagas."_

_"Not this one."_

_"Nothing exists forever."_

_"Right. But this one is way too good to die. You love it, too, don't you?"_

_"It's been a while since the last time I went there. So... I'd say I did love it when I was sitting there...with you, which also made the sweetest memory of my life."_

_"...What are we talking here, Gil? Just... you gonna come or not?"_

_"I...can't...promise you. Sorry, Sara..."_

_"...Ok, then..."_

_"... Happy birthday, my dear."_

_"Yap. Anyway, still, I'll be waiting."_

_"Stubborn...No matter you're Sidle or Grissom."_

_"Bye, Gil."_

_..._

Reopening her eyes, Sara took another sip of her wine.

That was how their last conversation ended in the phone. And it still felt like a punch in her chest.

Especially now.

Now, when the riddle was finally brought to light, all kinds of pain, itch, sorrow and sanity...were waking up at the same time, straightway kicking her down to the hell without mercy.

Sara Sidle suddenly hoped the floor could open up and swallow her in, 'cause she couldn't stand feeling exposed in front of people like this anymore. Her dark silk dress, the two-hours-cost makeup and hair, as well as this desperate birthday waiting...all seemed humiliatingly stupid, even a slap on her face.

But just before she getting on her feet, a cupcake with candle showed up in her view.

_What the-_

There was a millisecond, Sara's heart stopped.

_It that you? _

Until she met a smiling waiter.

"Wh-what's this?"

"I, uh, took a total shot in the dark." A man came over with an almost shy smile. "Please tell me I'm right?"

She had to say, that for some odd reason, this guy wasn't so...annoying. "Uh, yeah, actually, you are." It surprised her deep inside, 'cause all her life, Sara had never showed any pretty attitude to the men trying to hit on her.

"Well, in that case, happy birthday."

It got her alert.

"How did you know?"

"I noticed how you keep watching that party over there."

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**-later-**

**-In the parking lot-**

It might be the most out-of-character-thing Sara had done in her life. She never thought she'd hace her birthday dinner with a stranger, until now. And unbelievably, she found herself was kissing back the man whose name she had known for less than one hour.

"Where're you?" He pulled back, looking at her in the eye.

"Excuse me?"

"You were kissing me but you were miles away, Illsa."

For a second Sara confused, hearing that ridiculous name she gave him. Damn. She really drank a little too much to remember who she claimed herself to be. "What're you talking about...Taylor?" She laughed, "I was just thinking...that you're a good kisser." Well, that wasn't a lie, actually, cuz she really had forgotten the feeling of kissing someone or being kissed.

"Of course I am. And...kissing is not the only thing I'm good at. You know?" He leaned closer, whispering to her ear.

The hot breath and masculine aftershave weakened Sara's legs. "Don't stop kissing me." She found his both hands which now started to explore down her waist, and lifted them up to her face.

"You tastes sweet...and longly, baby."

"You talk too much." She shut him up with another deeper kiss.

"Baby," Taylor gently pushed away, "we're not standing here and kissing the night away, aren't we?"

Sara gasped, meeting his hungry eyes. She knew what was gonna happen if she went with him, because every cell of her being was doing nothing but screaming for... "Nah. Actually, I think...I should go."

"Really?" He groaned, squeezing on her hand, "I know you want it, too."

_Yes, I do. _"I uh, maybe next time." She forced it out.

But before she knew it, her back had been slammed back on the top of the car.

"You sure there's next time? C'mon, baby."

Her heart skipped a beat when his iron hands grabbed on her wrists.

Their position brought her directly back to years ago when Grissom pinned her against the wall during working on a case.

"Taylor," she heard her voice got serious, "let me go."

"What? Is this little thing bothering you?" He smirked, hand reaching for the ring on her finger and trying to take it off.

"Hey! Stop!"

Her sudden snap shocked both of them.

"Easy...I didn't mean to upset you. Shit... I just-" He shook his head and stepped back. "Woman as gorgeous as you is not suppose to be alone at birthday night."

"Not suppose to..." Sara sneered at his flattering, desperately wanting the night wind to dry her eyes. "You sure it's really my birthday? You don't even-" _even know my real name. _

"Even what, Sara?"

Jerking around, the brunette felt her blood froze. "Who the hell are you?"

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TBC

**Please let me know if you like this beginning ~ :)**


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